Mom, interrupted

For as long as I can remember, I've wanted to be a mom. I would babysit for family and neighbors through my teenage years, and eventually go on to college to become an elementary school teacher. I loved kids. Maternal instincts ran deep, and i hoped to have a child with that man I married. I kept trying to get him to agree to starting a family, but I was met with resistance. It was never a matter of not wanting a kid, it was more "oh crap, I have to become a responsible adult if that happens!"

As the years went by, adopting cats became my substitute. 3 cats became my "kids" over a four year period. Firmly in my early 30's, I was not old, per se, just marching towards the age where if I wasn't a mom by then, I never would be.

In 2003 I turned 35 and both the hubby and I found ourselves unemployed. PERFECT conditions for starting a family. Television programming one day in September was mediocre and we had nothing better to do. So, some months and a refi later, we welcomed a son in late May of 2004.

From that moment on, I have been interrupted. My sleep, my phone calls, my meals, my thoughts...unfinished. On rare occasions I'm allowed a moment in the bathroom to complete at least ONE thing! Mostly it's when the boy is at school or sleeping, that I can being and finish anything!

It comes with the territory, part of the bargain, in the fine print of the contract that no one but $300 a minute lawyers reads. Complaining was useless and all I'd get from others (who had children themselves) was an eye roll, a snicker and a half assed "oh that's too bad". I could however, commiserate with my mom. She was thrilled being a Nana and gave me much needed reassurance that I was going to be fine, without sounding condescending.

Pre mommy hood, I used to see parents try to carry on conversations with others, constantly side-tracked by their children butting in, asking questions or demanding their attention. I felt confident I would not allow that to happen to me. Well, I'm pleased to announce that I'm human. I would by far, rather be a mom interrupted, than just me, with complete sentences.

As I type this, I'm asked to cuddle. I guess I'm finished here. Good night.