Oh bucket!

Tonight I sit here, poised on edge of my mid 40's (44 tomorrow to be exact) and began to reflect. I am not what I would consider old, or even middle aged. Old is what my parents are! Sorry Mom and Dad, I really didn't mean any disrespect, but compared to me, you are older. I still feel like I did in my 20's and 30's, but recently, the idea of mortality actually got to me. 


After years of taking care of everyone else, and making sure they all got to their doctors appointments and took their medications, I figured it was time to finally take myself in for a physical. The doctor I had been going to for the better part of my adult life decided to retire! I mean, really? I felt like an orphan in a strange way. I no longer had an office to call or go to when I was sick or needed a check up. I took to asking friends about their doctors and found out that my good friend had found herself in the same predicament! The funny thing was, we had been seeing the same doctor for years and never even knew it!


After talking to my mom, she suggested I see the one she'd been going to for a year or so. I was reluctant. It took me a year to find a new hair stylist after the one who had been there through middle and high school, college, marriage, and mommy hood suddenly passed away.  How could I just go and "try out" a new physician. Well, the deciding factor for me was a trip to the ER on Super Bowl Sunday for severe stomach pains. During triage, they asked me the name of my primary physician. I had none, no name to give, no one to say I would follow up with during the week. That was it. I HAD to go.


The appointment made and the date was set. I dreaded the outcome. The weigh in was an eye opener, the physical was ok, but then again, who likes to be poked and prodded. After the hand outs on nutrition, pre diabetes, and the order to get a blood pressure monitor, I was then bled dry by the vampire masquerading around as a "lab technician". I'm sure you all know what comes next...a trip to the restroom to pee into that see through plastic cup with a lid that somehow doesn't fit right when you have to walk it across the hall, and back to the room where the sacrificial letting took place. 


With the bodily fluid check point behind me, an EKG was the final event where at the very least I didn't have to get naked for. I did have to flash that technician so the leads could be stuck to my chest, and was disappointed when I wasn't given any strings of colorful beads for my effort. At last, I was released to return to my place of employment and continue on with my day. 


With that said, test results the following weeks were not ideal. In fact, not good at all. My EKG, and other tests were primarily fine, the cholesterol and blood pressure numbers were sending me down a road from which I probably wouldn't return. My body makes too much cholesterol. That's right, I manufacture the crap that could contribute to my demise at a much earlier age than I had in mind. The BP was high to boot! Walking time bomb comes to mind. So, I diet, exercise, take pills. Welcome to my world. 


As I had said earlier, I began to reflect. The term "Bucket List" swam around and I thought of things that I would like to do before I die. At random times I would say to my husband (I will from now on refer to him as Radio Guy since he works with them ALL day. I also have a good friend and fellow blogger who has a hubby who works with cameras and hence is referred to as Camera Guy. Radio and Camera Guy are friends too, but that's another blog!) things I wanted on my list. Tom Jones in Vegas! Paris! Tuscany! Be a Grandma! Blurted out followed by awkward silence. Yup, I have started my Bucket List at 43. I have quite a bit I want to do and if I keep up the good work, I will have many years in which to complete them. 


Happy 44th Birthday to me......and MANY more!